This is a love letter to Greek letters, but it will not mention bid-day, parties, philanthropy or awards. It is not going to tell you to go through recruitment or which fraternities have the hottest men or which stereotypes are true. This is a story about the delicate choice that we all have when it comes to our sexual behaviors: the choice of whether or not to have sex. Most importantly, this is a story of finding a group of sisters or brothers that support you and make you stronger in the roots of who you are as a person, even if your choice is not the one that our age demographic seems to favor. This is a story about saving yourself for marriage while existing within Greek society, a place that outsiders often incorrectly view as a gateway to sexual behavior and social conformity.

When I met the star of my story, I was joking about the battle scars on my body from a night of particularly kinky sex. She looks like any other college girl, tall and tan with hot pink toenails and white shorts. Her Greek letters brandish her notebook, backpack and T-shirt, a silent symbol of love and loyalty to her sisterhood. She won’t allow me to print her name, but her story is one of many.

I was not aware of her virginal status, but when she mentioned her lack of knowledge about the particular comment I was making, I felt a sense of shock that she wasn’t looking at me differently. While my position as the sex columnist has caused me to experience alienation at the hands of many who disapprove of what they think that I do with my body, this girl did not flinch when I told her the tale of the bondage burns that kissed my skin. Her choice has also caused her similar alienation, but the type that is silent and awkward when people share stories and you have nothing to put on the table. Because we live in a society that is so highly sexualized, it is easy to occasionally feel alone when choosing to abstain from sex. This girl is no different.

“People think a lot of sorority girls are sluts,” she says, tucking a wisp of blonde hair behind her ear. She flashes a bright smile and says, “but there are actually many of us that want to wait.”

Raised in a Christian household, she has always felt that waiting until marriage was at the core of her being. When she decided to go through recruitment during her sophomore year of college, she was looking for a group of like-minded women to help her flourish within her social and academic life. Her “mold,” as she calls it, was not being entirely filled by the friendships she had developed during her freshman year, so she chose to go through recruitment to help her find more like-minded friends. Her new relationships became fluid and natural, because some of them shared her same beliefs about sexuality, and those that didn’t, never questioned her with the painful “why?” that we so often experience at the hands of strangers.

“You come to college to find yourself, not lose yourself, and you do that by finding people that share your core values. I’ve found that with my sisterhood, even though we are not all identical in our beliefs. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, but we don’t care where people come from. We all bring something to the table, and that makes us a strong unit, which is what sorority life is all about.”

Whether or not you choose to have sex or not during your college career, remember that it is your body and your choice. You are never any less or any more than another person because of your decisions. You are never alone. The girl who I am writing about today is a prime example. She stands strong, proud and beautiful because of her conviction, and through thick and thin, her sisters will support her. That is the beauty of fraternity and sorority life: finding others who share your morals and beliefs that will help mold you into a better version of the you that you already are. They may not have the same life experiences or the same way of looking at things. They may be entirely opposite of you, but they become your family. They do not judge you for who you are, but instead try to help you cultivate those bits of yourself and help you hold true to them through support and love. Whether you are single, taken, sexually adventurous or abstinent, your sorority and fraternity will be the last place that you will have to fear being labeled or judged for what you do or don’t do with your body.

Wear your letters with pride, because they too are letters of love — ones that you earn simply by being your true self.

Anneliese Hucal studies prelaw and public relations. She can be reached at