‘Tis the season for standing at the back of church, feigning joy when opening presents, scraping ice off your windshield, buying your Secret Santa candy at the last second, pretending to like eggnog, crying because you learned you have to retake Journalism 108, using the excuse of “it’s the holidays” to gorge on cookie dough, getting irritated by your family and paying for Mariah Carey’s mortgage. It all can be a little much. In order to stave off seasonal affective disorder, I have curated some fun holiday events around Reno.

The Nutcracker

The Reno Dance Company will perform the “The Nutcracker” in the Celebrity Showroom at the Nugget of Sparks Dec. 16, 17 and 22-24. Warning: spectators in the front row should bring protective eye wear because of all of the broken nutshells which fly from the stage. Please, no one tell my mom about this event or she will make me go with her. Then again, she will probably buy me Shirley Temples…

Winterfest

Taking place at the Greater Nevada Field, this bash goes on for the entirety of December. Festivities include Holiday Express Train, Santa’s Village, fresh cut Christmas trees, and the ice skating rink. Sure, ice skating sounds like a good first date idea, until you fall and sprain your wrist and spend the rest of the night crying and your date leaves because she suddenly remembers she has to pick her cousin up from the airport…or whatever…

Polar Express on the V&T Railroad

This train ride on the Virginia and Truckee Railroad runs until the 30th of December. Drink hot cocoa and hang with Santa. Buy your tickets early because it sells out every year. You can buy VIP tickets which includes additional entertainment, extra time with Santa, a “special holiday treat” and a commemorative mug. Also, I think you are allowed to spit on people in coach. So come out and relive that creepy animated movie where Tom Hanks plays 17 different characters. The website claims it is a round trip to the North Pole, which, by my calculations would take approximately 47 hours. So, plan accordingly.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

On Sunday, Dec. 17, at the Spanish Springs Library, the In-Tunes Tales will present their sing-along version of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” teaches children the valuable lesson that if you are shunned from society for being different, you should rid townspeople of their material goods in an act of Marxist defiance.

Jazz for the Holidays – A Gospel Christmas

The Reno Jazz Orchestra, accompanied by Pat Esters’ Gospel Choir and the Reno Youth Jazz Orchestra, will perform at Cargo Concert Hall in Whitney Peak on Dec. 16 and 17. Jazz isn’t dead, it just has to perform jingle bells once a year.

Home 4 the Holidays

The Nevada Humane Society is looking for future pet owners to adopt 1,200 dogs and cats this Christmas season. They are waiving fees for cats over 5. Think about it: You can be just like Santa Clause (more like Santa Claws, [get it?]).

The Buttcracker

The Brüka Theatre is performing this parody and time travel adventure through Reno Dec. 13-16 and 20-23 at 8 p.m. and Dec. 10 and 17 at 2 p.m. Tickets cost $24. The show is ages 12 and up. 11-year-olds are just too immature. 12-year-olds, however? Very mature. This is the eighth year they have performed it. As in, they have performed it seven previous times and people approved. Art is dead.