On Sunday, Oct. 8, Reno as F*ck hosted a cocktail competition at Pignic Pub & Patio in partnership with Rawbry cold press juice bar. Bartenders from Pignic, 1984 and the Saint competed for glory. The Eddy was originally slated to participate but bowed out at the last second.

There were three rounds: best bloody mary, best summer drink (frozen/blended/rocks) and best classic cocktail twist. Each drink had to incorporate a Rawbry juice blend. Attendees were given tickets and asked to vote for their favorite cocktails each round.

As patrons filtered in they were greeted with a complimentary welcome shot of either gin or whiskey from the Depot. The Reno as F*ck cocktail competition also had a taco bar.

In advertising with this event, Reno as F*ck ran into some issues with censorship. Pignic was unhappy with the original branding of the event, which was originally deemed “too loud.”

“We were just going back and forth on what the poster design would be,” said Reno as F*ck co-founder Anthony Lee. “It ended up working out. We found a common ground. That’s what business is about. Making a compromise so every facet of the event itself wins.”

The relationship between Rawbry and Reno as F*ck began when Rawbry founder Brianna Bullentini was at a concert and saw a Reno as F*ck sticker, which inspired her to reach out. The rest is history.

When asked what it means to be Reno as F*ck, Bullentini said, “Authentically yourself. Everybody in Reno, that I know, has this pioneer spirit and [is] independent.”

Regarding whether or not the Pignic cocktail competition was, in fact, Reno as f*ck, who’s to say? But drinking in the middle of the day, grown adults giggling over the F-word, football fans stomping on floorboards, smokers ashing wherever or on whomever they please, eating chicken wings that had been laying in the sun for three hours and people yelling at each other about cultural appropriation on the patio all sounds authentically Reno to me.

So without further ado, I will review all of the cocktails from the Reno as F*ck cocktail competition according to my expertise. My expertise? I love drinking.

BLOODY MARY

1864 (WINNER/MY VOTE)

1864 put a Korean spin on their bloody mary by including kimchi, fish oil and soy sauce. Then they said screw it and added a bunch of sriracha. I usually abhor bloody marys but this one was tolerable.

The Saint

Bonus points for having a cherry tomato and basil. However, not even this adorable furnishing couldn’t save this pathetic excuse for a bloody mary. It tasted like pure vodka with a hint of lemon and red food coloring. Also, the rim was coated with an excess of cayenne pepper seasoning. No thanks. D-

Pignic

This one came topped with a thick cut of hickory-sweet bacon. Right on. That was probably the highlight of my day. Unfortunately, the bloody mary was essentially tomato soup on ice cubes. It would have gone good with a frozen grilled cheese. Sidebar: the Pignic bartenders kept blasting air horn noises on a speaker. This went through several cycles of being obnoxious and hilarious.

SUMMER DRINK

1864

This came from a watermelon blender, which was endearing, but the drink was too alcohol-ey. What is a watermelon even supposed to taste like?

The Saint (WON)

This one was called the Ernest Hemingway daiquiri, which would make sense if Ernest Hemingway loved to drink terrible daiquiris. A Farewell to Arms? More like, a farewell to my lunch. For Whom the Bell Tolls? More like, for whom this drink sucks. If this really is what Ernest Hemingway drank, no wonder he was a violent, misogynistic, suicidal anti-semite. This drink won by the way, which either means I have no discernible taste or everyone else was wrong. I choose to believe the latter. D-

Pignic (MY  VOTE)

This drink didn’t really taste like anything, but I guess that’s better than it tasting bad. It came with whipped cream which I guess is cool. The drink was blue, which I am a huge fan of, because then someone tells you your mouth is blue, and when you look in the mirror, sure enough, your mouth is blue. This drink also came with a complimentary condom because apparently charcoal water can mess with your birth control. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that but here we are.

CLASSIC COCKTAIL TWIST

1864

This drink was racistly named the Poor Man’s Paloma so I’m not going to review it.

The Saint

This drink was called the “Black Mamba” which was a detoxifying drink. The drink was good but for some reason once again they put that cayenne pepper seasoning around the rim again. You reckless maniacs. How could you? You ruined a perfectly good drink. D-

Pignic (WINNER/MY VOTE)

I don’t really remember this cocktail but I voted for it because I was tired of walking around and drinking and nodding politely when people talked to me.