As a renowned connoisseur of the finer things in life (the song “Boys” by Italian singer Sabrina, the band Journey and Internet sensation Leeroy Jenkins), I know a thing or two about having a good time.

I also possess some knowledge on the topic of Valentine’s Day. Some of the things I know consist of an array of the most stupid activities and movies to see with that special certain someone. So if you’re running out of ideas for your loved one, let’s cut right to the chase since the clock is ticking. By the clock is ticking, I mean these are the most sure-fire ways for that first date to blow up in your face and make the likelihood of you spending the night alone to skyrocket.

Worst place to eat: The Keystone Quadrant. Made up of Burger King, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, McDonald’s and KFC, this Reno landmark is a staple of late-night rendezvous and drunken excursions; however, this is definitely not the place to be this Friday evening. As the square will surely be made up of hard-partying and love-sick young gents and ladies, this is the last place you would want to go. While the ambiance of Wendy’s dine-in area is charming and the puke in the Mickey D’s bathroom is delightful, you should do your best to avoid this at all costs. Although the one upside to this corner of town is if you’re spending the evening with your friend crew, there is no other more happenin’ place to be.

A worthy compromise: The Blind Onion Pizza and Pub. This little gem at the top of Kings Row is best taken in between the hours of four and six in the evening, as you can’t beat the sale price of a $10 large pizza. Although there might be other locations in town to go to, if you hit the Blind Onion at the right time you’ll be happier than Coach Polian at Wing Wednesday in the Cantina.

Worst movie to see: “American Psycho” or any movie with a serial killer. Seriously, this goes without saying, but nothing kills the mood of a romantic evening more than Christian Bale running down a hallway naked with a chainsaw (or maybe it makes it better if that’s what you’re into). While “American Psycho” has been seen by many as a black comedy, there are far better choices to go through with this Friday night. Of course, if you’re really looking forward to bumming out your date you can just up the ante by popping in “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” But beware, none of the prior films compare to the true horror of cinema that is “From Justin to Kelly.”

A worthy compromise: “The Lego Movie.” What might come as a surprise choice to some is an easy pick for most with a sense of quirkiness (and access to Rotten Tomatoes). The star-studded Lego movie might be an early favorite for this year’s most underrated hit and a true contender for the animation dominance that is Pixar. I also happen to like Legos, so sue me; I’m sure you do, too.

Worst date activity: An evening walk through Fourth Street (any part). As many of you may or may not know, Reno is a town full of wonder and mystery. If you’re looking for either of these things, then you should stay as far away as you can from this infamous Reno locale, as Fourth Street has been known to swallow unsuspecting lovers whole. While the street stretches from the outskirts of Mayberry Park in the west to the dingy train yards of the east, there is really no part worse than the dreaded stretch from the infamous Grab n’ Go (notorious for the pervy cashier) to the Keystone Quadrant. A night here will surely mean a night alone.

A worthy compromise: An afternoon jaunt in Rancho San Rafael. Not only is this park close to the university, but it also serves as a great place (like a room with bunk beds) for many activities. From visiting the Land Before Time to wandering the miles of nature paths or exploring the tunnel on the road to the N, there isn’t a whole lot Rancho doesn’t offer.

Whether or not you end up going out on Friday, it really doesn’t matter because as the great philosopher Calvin Broadus once said: “Two in the morning and the party’s still jumpin’ cause my momma ain’t home.” So at the end of the day, you can still have a good time flying solo on V-Day.

Chris Boline studies managerial sciences and economics. He can be reached at